words

My favorite oldest grandson, the one who met me at the airport when I arrived on my Freedom Flight, is just  starting to read and is participating in the Whitehouse summer reading challenge. He also had some testing done to determine level as he starts schooling with The Boss in a few weeks.

We always read when the boys visit and I enjoy the stories The Boss tells as much as they do! Especially if there is a good dog as the hero.

All this has me thinking about our words.

As you know, we Heelers are extremely intelligent and understand everything you say. We may know what you’re thinking at times before you even put it into words!

Mom says I have a better vocabulary than some people she’s known. 

And when we’re out working cows, we’re savvy enough to pick up many hand signals; that serves us well when we get older and can’t hear as well, too.

Like all great cowdogs, I of course am joyful and  see the glass as forever more than half-full. I’m pointing that out in preparation to rant about one of the widespread butchering of our language .  Hearing mismatched, cutesy, painfully overused buzz words and dumb phrases that jolt the ears and psyche, like a literary cattle prod, make me growl!

It is practically recreational to mis -use and make up fractured lexis. Some even get so popular that large dictionary companies foolishly accept the twisted terms into the latest publication; for example, Merriam-Webster added the highly annoying “Ginormous” to its book. For anyone who has even a five-year-old’s vocabulary, that is clearly a word made from two with the same meaning, like saying giant-giant, or big-big. There are plenty of colorful uses of the original two words, no need for the mash-up.   

Perhaps instead of compromising the language of Shakespeare and Hemingway, someone could just gather them as a separate language. So here’s a start to “The Misused, Overused, and Just Plain Stupid Words and Phrases”.

With such a large and colorful language, why do words get suddenly popular and overused, becoming annoying and worn? I don’t like finesse [as a verb], empower, and reach out. I will bite anyone who says “It is what it is”, “mind-blown” or “Yeah, no” to this Heeler!

Realtors nationwide are addicted to the word “nestled” –

“The spacious rancher is nestled in the foothills”,

“the grand Victorian is nestled on a private cul-de-sac”,

“the sorry little shack is nestled against the wrong side of the tracks… ”

They stretch the meaning of the word well past the breaking point in an effort to make every listing cozy and cute. I say, if the description uses “nestled’, the place is cursed!

As I ramble around my foothills ranch and admire the wide vistas, the private creekside thickets, and my porch at sunset, that is one word that never comes to mind.

There are the mis-used words that stick to the language as stubbornly as a thistle to a wool sock, like irregardless.  Usage when use works more efficiently always annoys me. And now there is a whole new collection of randomly manufactured phrases, thanks to the computer world: “Google” as a verb, Blog, and the total annihilation of the language that is text messaging.

Thank goodness a dog like me never has to do that!

We used to read a book. Now that book has morphed into a good “read”. Instead of going to the store to purchase a gift, we go to find a solution to all our “gifting” needs. Those are the kind of maddening contortions that scar up language – not clever, not creative, just utterly infuriating.

I’ve always hated the term “faux” when it would be so much more honest to just say artificial or fake.  Calling it what it is does not make a painted surface, a phony mink stole, or a copy jewel any more sophisticated, nor any less useable. Likewise, altering the spelling to somehow claim a special meaning doesn’t improve the product; I avoid anything spelled “lite”, “nite”, “hiway” – for heaven’s sake, spell the easy ones correctly, at least! 

“Body Wash” sounds like something you’d wash the car with. I saw in the bathroom a shiny silver tube with a lid that looks like the Apollo space capsule. The product is called “An Extreme Whitening Experience”. I guess it’s toothpaste or maybe some odd minty dog toy.  We found it in the toothpaste aisle – I hope it has the right stuff!

Communicating would be more fun if the world stopped using icon, pivot,  hack, deep dive, new normal and, “that being said”, there is the highly obnoxious: “No problem” instead of “You’re welcome.”

How about “amazing”, so painfully over-used as to be totally devoid of meaning – and it was such a terrific word once, too, as in “Amazing Grace”.

Runner –up is “like”, the hackneyed term which has been exhausted by everyone under the age of thirty – or should I say, it is, like, the hackneyed term, which has been, like, exhausted, by everyone under, like, thirty.

And the winner (or loser) is – “My bad”. What idiot decided sounding like a 2-year-old when you make a mistake is endearing, explanatory, or forgivable?   And it is used for everything from forgetting an appointment to a felony, by everyone from pre-teen to professional.

Think about it – do you want a surgeon who says “My bad”?

I appreciate the words that are spoken to me, a humble Heeler, that are honest, true and real. 

Once upon a time, I heard a few that were mean, maybe spoken a little loud.

For years now, I hear only sweet, kind, loving words, used like they were meant to be.

The best of course, is “I love you, good dog” and that is always used correctly and never over-used.